March Madness Sheets Of Idiocy: Elite Eight

Round: Intro | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Finals

By this time in March Madness, you probably know whether or not you are in the money rounds of your own office bracket pool. Of course, that also depends on how your pool is set up.

Is it a total, winner-take-all pot? Reality says that you probably won’t be able to get 100 points from Kentucky with two games remaining. Is there a round-for-round pot? Well, if Michigan State makes that huge run, you may take home your entry fee.

And then there are the Sheets of Idiocy, that experiment in random bracket selection that seems to only have 50% of its selections correct, which is an odd coincidence since any team usually has a 50/50 shot to win. And you thought this bracket had no statistical facts behind it.

Branden Dawson #22 of the Michigan State Spartans celebrates by cutting down the net after defeating the Louisville Cardinals.

Branden Dawson (Photo Credit: Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

Let’s see what happened to the Sheets of Idiocy after the Elite Eight.

Like most brackets, the Sheets of Idiocy lost most of its hope with the previous round of Sweet 16. That was the round that your sneaky picks had to get by in order to make your brackets legitimate. It is also after the Sweet 16 that your bracket can look like a dud. This means the Elite Eight can be the bracket for thinking about what could have been. “If only I didn’t get greedy with that Utah pick! Why did Duke have to be so Duke-like and get into the Final Four again?” I’m not saying I told myself that last night in the mirror as I wiped away my falling tears with a bracket sheet. I’m saying that I could have.

With that said, you already saw that the bottom half of the Sheets of Idiocy was killed by fire before the Sweet 16 even tipped off. Baylor and Oregon had gone home, UAB did just enough damage to scare legitimate brackets, and the players of Texas Southern barely had a chance to gawk at Portlandians before being sent back. So Gonzaga’s slight resurgence and Arizona’s fall from grace really didn’t affect the Sheets of Idiocy.

The top half, however, is looking better and better. Like, eerie better. Notre Dame tried to summon the ghost of a young “Rudy” Ruettiger (they should have at least invited him to the game) but ended up faltering in the final minutes of their battle with Kentucky, the front-running freight train rolling through this tournament.

Patrick Emmel's completely random NCAA Tournament bracket 2015 round 3

Download Patrick’s completely random NCAA Tournament bracket for round 5.

On the other side of this bracket, Michigan State continues to come back in games in a way that has me wishing the Sheets of Idiocy picked them to win it all. In the Sweet 16, it was a gradual come-from behind victory against Oklahoma after falling behind in the first half. The game against Louisville went into overtime. At this rate, Michigan State will be playing triple sudden-death overtime against Kentucky for the championship. Hey, it could happen. This is Madness for a reason.

Stay tuned after each round, as I will be updating my scoring, for better or for worse.

Patrick Emmel is a sports humorist who once punted a soccer ball fifty yards to his teammate, who then scored the only goal for his college intramural soccer team’s season. Seriously, that kick was placed PERFECTLY. He is also still a believer that Colt McCoy is going to break out as an NFL quarterback. You can read more of his obnoxious commentary at This Jeer In Sports and heckle him on Twitter @Patrick_AE.


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