March Madness Sheets Of Idiocy: Sweet 16

Round: Intro | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Finals

The Round of Sweet 16 is the beginning of some sort rational thought when it comes to the Men’s NCAA tournament. Not because the games are any less intense, but the schedule is easier to manage. With most office pool brackets sheets visiting the paper shredder already, it’s fitting that the excitement has tapered off to the point that people aren’t taking personal days or sick days off from work to watch afternoon games. Don’t deny it. We’ve all had that slight chest cold that we blame on the change of weather.

Like so many of those brackets, the Sheets of Idiocy aren’t faring particularly well. The Sweet 16 all but gave them a TKO, which proves one thing to many people: your well-thought-out picks were better than my random picks. To those of you who haven’t defeated the Sheets of Idiocy: better luck next time.

Let’s look at what worked for the Sheets of Idiocy in this round.

So you remember Daxter Miles Jr. talking about how he thinks his team can stop the Kentucky title train? I’d like to think that Kentucky took one look at my Sheets of Idiocy and thought, “Let’s win big for the sports idiot” in true, big-budget sports film fashion with Coach Cal waving a copy of my bracket in the locker room. I’d also like to think that women across the country have a 24 x 36 framed poster of me in their bedrooms. Both have the same probability; I’ll let you do the math.

The east section the Sheets of Idiocy didn’t do that bad, either. Villanova getting into the Sweet 16 may have been an incorrectly unlucky pick. But the sheets came through, deciding that it didn’t who Louisville played, the Cardinals were getting to the Elite 8. Meanwhile, Michigan State continues to move the pile by getting past Oklahoma and looking more and more like an agonizing sleeper pick to people whose brackets are falling apart and less like a random underdog pick.

Travis Trice #20 of the Michigan State Spartans shoots the ball in the second half of the game against TaShawn Thomas #35 of the Oklahoma Sooners.

Travis Trice #20 (Photo Credit: Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)

Unfortunately, the bottom half of the Sheets of Idiocy didn’t do as well. In fact, I can probably just rip this bracket in half because, after the Sweet 16, there are no points left for this sheet to take.

Wisconsin had already put the knockout punch on the west section of the bracket by taking down Oregon. Just to rub that pick in the face of the Sheets of Idiocy, they also went ahead and defeated UNC, who we had being defeated by aforementioned Oregon. At this rate, Wisconsin will be in the Final Four just to show how wrong we really were.

On the South side of the bracket, things are just as torturous. The Sheets of Idiocy had Gonzaga getting through the Sweet 16, but they were going to lose to St. John’s, which was a horribly random pick when it was first made two weeks ago. Duke was supposed to be ousted by #16 seed Robert Morris; UAB would have continued their Cinderella run and Joe Lunardi would have come by to give me a pat on the back. Sadly, none of that happened.

Patrick Emmel's completely random NCAA Tournament bracket 2015 round 3

Download Patrick’s completely random NCAA Tournament bracket for round 4.

But like a rock band grinding through its third encore during the last show of a reunion tour, the Sheets of Idiocy will carry on to the Elite 8 and beyond.

Stay tuned after each round, as I will be updating my scoring, for better or for worse.

Patrick Emmel is a sports humorist who once punted a soccer ball fifty yards to his teammate, who then scored the only goal for his college intramural soccer team’s season. Seriously, that kick was placed PERFECTLY. He is also still a believer that Colt McCoy is going to break out as an NFL quarterback. You can read more of his obnoxious commentary at This Jeer In Sports and heckle him on Twitter @Patrick_AE.


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