GLASGOW, SCOTLAND - NOVEMBER 26: A man drinks a pint of beer on November 26, 2004 in Glasgow, Scotland. The Scottish Executive has announced a major campaign designed to call time on the binge drinking culture which creates bad health and anti social behaviour. It is estimated that drink related problems cost the people of Scotland over GBP1bn a year. Glasgow City Council has already banned "happy hours" where cut price drinks can be bought at specific times. Photo Credit: Chris Furlong/Getty Images
Competitive eating gets all of the media attention. Superstars like Joey Chestnut and Bob Shoudt can’t go out in public without being mobbed by the paparazzi and fans of the sport. Okay, maybe that’s overstating it just a little. Nevertheless while the eaters are the faces of competitive consumption, the drinkers are the unsung heroes.
Those who fill their stomachs with absurd amounts of liquid with lightning speed train just as much as their eating counterparts. But they forgo the glory that comes with consuming hotdogs on national television on July 4. So let’s take a moment to recognize the accomplishments of world class drinkers.
Don’t Tell the Cows
Everyone has heard of the the milk chug challenge: drink a full gallon of milk in less than an hour. Believe us when we tell you it is harder and far more dangerous than it seems. All that milk will, at the very least, cause extreme gastrointestinal discomfort, and will probably make another appearance (for all you competitive eating fans, think “reversal of fortune”) before the hour is up. Nevertheless, young Kevin Strahle consumed one gallon of milk in eight minutes and 17.2 seconds on August 30, 2010. Hopefully he was standing near a toilet or large bucket while setting this impressive record.
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Would You Like Cream with That?
Clearly these next record holders were in serious need of some caffeine. On August 4, 2009, rather than working while in the office, Kerri Paul and Nicole Ingalls drank a combined total of 80 ounces of coffee in just 15 minutes. Later that day, their boss was thrilled at their increased output. Coworkers were ready to lock the two in a broom closet until the buzz wore off. Another impressive cafe-inspired accomplishment comes from Canadian Matthew English who drank a 9.5-ounce bottle of Starbucks Frappuccino in 3.28 seconds.
Earlier this year, Jacob Santiago of Massachusetts drank an entire Capri Sun in a mere 4.28 seconds. Actually, the drinking part of this feat – while impressive – may be the least jaw-dropping aspect. We’ve never actually managed to get the straw connected to the juice in under three minutes. How he managed to do that and get all of the juice in his system so quickly just boggles the mind.
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My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yard
On a hot summer night, there’s nothing better than a cool, creamy milkshake. Six years ago, Japanese comedian Taka drank a 17-ounce milkshake through a straw in nine seconds. So many questions spring to mind. Can you imagine the brain freeze he experienced directly following this triumph? Is this what passes for comedy in Japan?
Chug! Chug! Chug!
Steven Petrosino has held the world record for beer chugging for 36 years. Taking down a full liter of beer in an incredible 1.3 seconds, Petrosino became the champ on June 22, 1977 in Carlisle, Pennsylvania. Not to question the legitimacy of Petrosino’s performance, but similar attempts are made at colleges and universities around the country every weekend.
Extra Ketchup, Please
Ketchup certainly isn’t a beverage, but that didn’t stop Dustin Phillips. In 1999, Phillips took down a standard 14-ounce bottle of ketchup (through a straw) in a mere 33 seconds. Do you think he ordered fries with that?
There you have it. The human species’ finest imbibers. This group of drinkers proves not only the strong will of mankind, but also the extent to which a person will go for a little attention.