We love the Internet because it gives stupid people the platform to do stupid things… like eating challenges that aren’t even suitable for professionals. Thankfully, there are plenty of “brave” souls who go head to head with science on a path of bodily destruction, in an attempt to become a viral celebrity (and victim of their own ignorance).
These are the challenges that many have tried, few have conquered, and all have lost plenty of self-respect along the way. Videos for all of them can be found on your favorite video-sharing website.
When you’re the most decorated Olympian in the history of the Summer Olympics, no one’s going to give you a hard time for eating over 12,000 calories per day. We’re talking two pounds of pasta, an extra-large pizza, three chocolate chip pancakes, three pieces of french toast, three fried egg sandwiches, a five-egg omelet and more. But, when you’re just an average guy trying to earn instant YouTube fame, that’s a hefty haul of food. The challenge is this: eat what Michael Phelps eats, and do it in 30 minutes. Then maybe you can call yourself a professional eater… and an ambulance.
A surefire way to get some amateur eating love is to complete the Milk Gallon Challenge. The rules are pretty simple: chug a gallon of milk in less than an hour without, um, vomiting. It sounds doable, but, scientifically speaking, the stomach can actually only hold about half a gallon of milk before the old vomit reflex gets triggered. Let the fun begin.
Who could imagine that a tiny, singularly packaged candy could be responsible for one of the most harmful eating challenges on the amateur eating circuit. The challenge is to eat 150 Warheads in under 10 minutes. Simple? Hardly. In fact, rookie pro eater L.A. Beast attempted the challenge using 150 Atomic Sour Warheads, and the result was a bloody tongue and a loss of his taste buddies.
You’ve got one minute to eat just six saltine crackers, without drinking anything. How hard can that be? Six crackers, no big deal. Well, no, it’s a huge deal, when you consider that most people can only eat two saltines in a minute. Humans lack the saliva to process much more than two saltines before having to throw back a glass of water.
All you need to do is eat two bananas and drink a liter of Sprite. Again, how hard can that be? Well, very hard, it turns out, at least without vomiting. As your stomach fills with the heavily digestible bananas, the gas from the soda has a more difficult time making its way through your system, resulting in an upward evacuation, if you will.
You’re in luck! This particular challenge has no time limit to it, though it must be completed in one sitting. Okay, so that’s the good news. Now, the bad news. The Reverse Sushi Roll Challenge requires that you eat one giant ball of wasabi, drink one bottle of soy sauce and eat an entire King Kong-sized sushi tower. For what it’s worth, completing any one of these tasks will get you plenty of respect from me.
Are you a fan of pancakes? Of course you are. Everyone is. Well, you’re going to love this challenge. Chug and entire bottle of syrup, eat an entire stick of butter and then, finally, enjoy a large pancake. Now that’s how you do it… like a boss.
Eat three ghost chili peppers in a sitting, and you’ve won. That’s it. Yeah, good luck with that. We’re talking about the world’s hottest pepper here. One is enough to make even a grown man cry his eyes out. Three will leave you crying for days.
Much like the Saltine Challenge, the Cinnamon Challenge asks the challenger to do something his or her body will vehemently fight against. In this case, they have to eat a tablespoon of cinnamon in one second without drinking water. The cinnamon dries up the saliva the second it hits the tongue. The challenger lights up like the Fourth of July, a hilarious reaction, at least from a viewer’s perspective.
Many consider this to be the challenge of all challenges. It’s a smorgasbord of eating challenges, including six habanero peppers, 15 Warheads, two packs of Mentos with a Diet Coke, a tablespoon of cinnamon and a gallon of milk. This will separate the men from the boys or, if you prefer, the crazy from the sane. You’ll cry, you’ll vomit and you’ll wish you had more lofty goals in life than YouTube infamy as a crying, vomiting fool.